I'm feel happy, when I get support from my beloved family, I feel so free, focus and always smile. but I don't know, last night, I can't sleep well, and I don't know what can make me gloomy in the midnight. Finally I know, from yesterday morning, until yesterday afternoon, my sister always says "Sorry...sorry...sorry and sorry". I don't know what happen, but I know she hidden big problems.
I can stand anymore, I ask to her, "actually what wrong??" and my sister said, "about our planning before, I can support". I know, this problem not she's mistakes, maybe God want to know, I can stand or not with this storm.
I don't know, I can still smile, maybe I must do something, Plan B, Plan C or Plan D. Plan B, I must get new job Immediately, and plan C, prepare go to Netherland, I don't know Au Pair or Scholarship I must out from here and plan D, go to Bali and get part time job for survive first and then looking for the good job.
God, Why I must walking around but I can't get a good life, why, I can't make my mother stop to worry about me. and why I'm not yet get direction where and when and until when I feel like this. I feel life in ocean, I don't know when I can find the ground or beach. please drive me, until I get the ground and can make my mother smile, my father proud.
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